Is Loving a Learned Behavior?

It's a pretty simple question: Is our ability to love affect by how we were raised? Is it affected by our parents/parental figures, who generally tend to have the largest affect on our lives? Or the relationships other people have around us?

It's not something I've ever really talked about much, but I'm going to get pretty personal here. My life growing up was pretty interesting. My parents got divorced back when I was very young... I believe I was about 4. I barely have any memories of all three of us living under one roof. As such, I never really had the two-parent household structure that... is actually become less and less typical these days. But that's for another blog.

I grew up seeing both of parents go through several different relationships. I watched my father date several different women throughout my life. I watched my mom date a few different guys. I was a groomsman at my father's wedding when he remarried in 2006. So forth and so on, you get my picture. In short, I never saw what the whole "two people who have committed to loving each other for the rest of their lives" situation really looks like.

And I know better than to use TV and movies as an example of that. Anybody can read lines from a script. Art imitates life, but it's still just an imitation.

I'd like to think I can grow up to be different than my parents. When I marry... if I marry... I want to only marry once. I want to find that special woman, and I want her to be the one. But now I wonder... if I find her, will I be able to hold on to her? Have my relationships failed because I don't know how to properly love anyone? Is that why I'm still single?

And when will I stop questioning why I'm single?

We live in an age where the media tells us that we all have to live fast and die young. Hence the steady rise in the number of singles under 30 in the 21st century. This has only been glorified with shows like Sex and the City, Entourage, The Bachelor(ette), and so on. We're evidently "supposed" to be going out, clubbing, living life, dating/sleeping around, etc etc. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but it sure does make it hard to find something serious when everyone around you just wants to have fun. But what does it matter if I find her and she slips away because I don't know how to love?

How can I unlearn what I've been seeing my entire life? Oh well, life goes on, right?