Alcohol and Lust

Greetings, all! Sorry for the brief disappearance, but life got a little in the way! I've been kind of busy (I had a birthday yesterday!), but I'm back with a vengeance!

Today, I want to talk about something that I think has a large effect on the dating community: alcohol.

Picture the scenario: You're at the bar. It's been a long day of work, or you're just out enjoying the evening. You may or may not be looking to meet someone, you may or may not be single, attached to someone, etc. You've had a few beers, a couple glasses of wine, some martinis, whatever. Ladies, perhaps some guy has come up to you and offered to buy you a drink... or two... or three... or four? Fellas, perhaps you just decided to buy a drink... or two... or three... or four? And either way, you end up chatting it up with someone else sitting or standing beside you. Maybe you came in with them, maybe you just decided you'd be friendly and meet someone new.

The drink relaxes you. It makes you settle, open up more than you probably would when completely sober. You might start to share things, you might feel much more comfortable than you might have initially. But alcohol can also be an aphrodisiac. It can induce lust in a lot of people, lust that might not usually happen in normal everyday situations. It's a chemical thing, science has proven it, and a lot of times it's the rush that comes from probably having a good time that creates heightened feelings of attraction and lust (this can also be induced without alcohol, but that's for a WHOLE other topic completely... maybe I'll write about it some other time).

Now, I drink. Normally I love I nice glass of wine or something after work. I'm not really a beer drinker, but I can definitely tolerate going out and having a beer with friends... it's a social thing. (Note~My preferred drink is actually Jack and Coke.) I don't ever get drunk when I'm out, though. But regardless, I've felt the personal effects of alcohol. And I've felt the effects when around someone of the opposite sex. So don't think that I'm just judging other people around me. We've all been there. And I'm going to be completely straightforward, alcohol makes me REALLY flirty. But luckily my morals and my brain can remain quite well enough intact to still establish right from wrong, and rather than give in to whatever my body may think it's feeling at that moment, I hold myself back and reserve any judgement for the next day.

I think that's the important thing. It's not necessarily that what you're feeling is wrong (though sometimes, to be honest, it is, and that's why its' even more important not to give in). However, with the lowered guard created by alcohol, you must beware of three things:

1) You're not taking advantage of someone who may be doing something that they otherwise wouldn't do.
2) You yourself are not falling prey to doing something that you wouldn't normally do.
3) You are not allowing either of the aforementioned items to happen to anyone that you may be with, especially if you're the sober one.*

(*Note~Number 3, I believe, is the most important. Whereas the alcohol may make either person forget the first two, you will still have the memory of anything that may happen.)

What effect does this have on the dating community, you ask? People going out to bars just looking for hookups can affect other singles out there looking to meet people. I don't believe in "casual sex." Even if you don't know or remember their names, every person takes a little piece of you with them.

But especially when dating seriously, it's important to recognize the difference between alcohol-induced lust and an actual, real attraction to someone.The former is fleeting and will leave your system with the alcohol. The latter is something real and to be treasured. I'm not saying that alcohol can't increase your pre-existing attraction to someone. I'm just saying you have to be well aware of which it is: alcohol-induced infatuation or or an increased awareness of your true affection for someone.