The EX-Factor

 Hello all! Long time no updates, I know! I apologize for that, you know how it goes... life happens. But I'm here with a subject that I'm sure we're ALL familiar with, and affects us in the dating world: The EX factor. (Yes, I know. Not the most original name at all. But hey, it is what it is.)

So I'm sure lots of people have been there. We meet that person who's fantastic. We may or may not think they're "the one," but either way, we let them in, and they've made an impression on our hearts. The relationship isn't perfect, but you know, we're happy. Oh so very happy.

And then it's over.

For whatever reason, it ends. Someone cheats, you grow apart, etc etc... regardless of the reason, the relationship is over. They're gone. And they've taken a piece of our hearts with them. This is what makes the dating world so tricky.

We never get over our "first loves" (and I use that expression very loosely). This is a fact. We may move on, we may find happiness elsewhere, we may even "fall in love" with someone else. But for whatever reason, a part of heart still belongs to that other person. The one that got away. The one that left. The one that broke your heart. Call it whatever you want, you know what I'm talking about.

This makes it very hard for us single folks out there. When you accept someone into your life, you accept all of the baggage that comes with them. And the ex-factor is a part of that baggage. You may or may not realize it, but when you're dating someone with that sort of baggage, you're really dating two people. You're dating that person, and you're dating their ex. Or to be more accurate, you're still competing with that ex. And unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it except be who you are and hope that it's good enough.

So this blog isn't really for you. It's for those who are carrying the ex-factor with them. There's a reason they aren't there anymore. I think if you're going to commit yourself, attempt to commit yourself, or express an interest in someone else, you need to be sincere. The other person deserves a fair chance to be that special someone, and they can't do it if you're still suffering from the ex-factor. If you're not emotionally available, then don't pretend to be. Or at the very least, involve yourself with someone else who isn't emotionally available. Then you can just scratch each others' itches with no strings attached.

Though... if romantic comedies are anything to go by, that's almost impossible to do. (But that's a whole OTHER topic.)

In short, the other person deserves a fair chance. And if you're not ready to give them a fair chance, then get off the field and let others play.

Until next time...